Ending all of my previous grief because a new year is about to rise and to cover up my past . My new year resolution is this
1.Try harder to study
2.Erase my pain of a broken heart
3.Reducing putting grief tension on friends
4.Be more positive on life’
5.Many more but haven't think of it yet.
I'm actually scared like shit right now because i am going to get my results PMR later on and man am i scared.What should i do to relax , man Im so anxious.
Now is about midnight cannot sleep adn have nothing to do.What else try to blog about something but keep thinking.What?What?What?.....................................Then it hit me maybe talk about myself abit during the holidays.What else to do but to watch televisyen play some games and maybe go out to KL to take a walk with friends.
Actually now that i typed this it feels kinda idiotic that i am doing this so maybe im not going to say anything.Ha!maybe I'm just a little weird.OK never mind I"m going then thanks for reading.Bye
Saw 2012 today and is was a pretty good movie.It showed many emotions in our self and also in other like anger,sadness,grief,laugh,kindness and love.Besides that it also teaches people to take care and to save mother earth while there is still one.Went to leisure mall to see with family and some parts of it was funny also.
I'm so tired but i cannot fall asleep so thought maybe can blog about it.Recently I've been feeling a pain in my heart which is not going away.The fact that i maybe in love with this person hasn't changed one bit till now.I've been making up some bull crap lies so she might go out with me.I think what i'm trying to do is probably scaring her a bit , i may be coming on a little to hard but what should i do.If anybody reads this and is willing to help me would be much appreciated.Just leave your comment on the Cbox. Afterward I've found out the hardships on getting a job at this young age.Now i understand why people go through, just to get a job striving to get a spot amongst many people in order to live on with the earnings that one might get.Its so hard and now i have gained an understanding towards other people. Its about to strike twelve midnight and maybe my life can begin a new from th
at time on or will it just stop as soon as the clock strike 12.00A.M.It has finally come to this..........
Today i was out searching for a job but found out that most people hiring this days are finding people over 16,17,18,19 years of age.Why is it so cruel.It took me 6 hours to figure out this truth.Today Anyways feeling sad because i ask someone to go out with me but she cannot accompany me..... so sad!!!boring day,now feeling tired wanting to sleep but cannot.Why must this torture continue on.
.So what now that my PMR is over but i feel uneasy of myself on how i did it.Now its almost holiday and i feel to myself i should carry more responsibility and take up a job.I have ask many friends to help me find one,but im afraid that i will not succeed in my interviews.This merely shows that i have no confident in myself or whoever.I think nothing is real and that all is fake.Does this make me too superficial and ignorent?
I've just stumble onto a new word recently and notice that it can describe a quarter of my personality.Hikikomori is a Japanese word for a not studying,lazy,self conscious,unable to interact with others and always having awkward moments with other.Normally lying to others to cover self lost and also causing problems with own actions.These few days i've been causing myself some problems due to my inability to talk to others.
Years past and i still been lying to my friends about part of my life to make it seem interesting enough to be with.But there are some problem that a hikikomori poseses that i do not and that is a inabilty to leave or step out into the outside world other than one self house.But still i've cause some people to hate or despice me.The way i talk to others is nt only rude but selfish.I never know how to speak to other or widen my knowledge about other topic.I normally trap myself with televisyen and sleepng as a life choice.but even due to all that i still don't regret my life as yet.Im still setting goals for myself but always unable to fulfill them.My problem now is more than a mere hikikomori lifestyle but something far worst.i need some professional help in this case.Iam a lazy person due to my inabilties i've cause myself a distance with my friends and also ellow classmates.My actions are inescussble.If anyone have this problem that i poses know please find a way to fix it before its too late.
In my case i think finding salvation is a bit to late of a choice now.But knowing that this problem might haunt me for the rest of my life i will try my best to cure myself and all my faults before turning to an estimate age of 20.
this is my second blog.Anyone who see this and know me might say why make another your first was a failure.But no i am going to try hard to complete this one.So to all luck to myself.
LOL.and this is not a joke i repeat this Is not a joke.
